The week of April 25th was unlike any other for me, my family and Logan. It was our long awaited jury trial for the events that occured last May. We had been waiting for this week for almost a year....and it was full of mixed emotions. On one hand ...I was thrilled to FINALLY be able to have some closure...on the other...I was dreading it. I have to say...I have some amazing friends...who apparently know the way to God's heart...because I felt every prayer...God was with me in that courtroom...and ask anyone who attended..and they will tell you the same. Blessed is the word to sum me up last week. Blessed by God sparing my life, Blessed by friends and family who have poured their love over me (through notes, cards, meals, flowers, "pamer yourself gifts", phone calls, e-mails, etc.) Blessed to have so many come to support at the court house. I don't think that judge had ever seen such a lively bunch. He had to pull out the gavel a few times to get us to quiet down during each recess. He was very kind to us though and every time he used it to have us be quiet...he usually smiled real big and laughed to himself! Blessed to have two detectives that acted as my body guards those two days. They kept media cameras away, escorted me to my car, sat through a very long two days (even when they didn't have to be there), and of course walked me in the courtroom and held my hand while I got sworn in. Let me tell you..I cannot say enough good things about the Little Rock Police Dept..and their detectives! Blessed to have the two most amazing prosecutors on this earth ..the two of them are like a Doberman and a Pittbull who are after a cat...trust me, you want to be on their good side. Blessed to have the sweetest victim/witness coordinator named Susie. The first time I talked to Susie, someone asked me.."What is she like?" I responded, "I feel like I just talked to me on the other end of the phone; she sounds just like me." Susie and I clicked from the beginning and she was our rock through this whole process. Blessed to be looking out from the stand..and see my old roommates, cousins, Aunt, Logan, my family, and countless friends who took off 2 days of work just to love on us and be supportive. Prosecutors that were not even on this case came to watch and support. Blessed to meet 3 women who came forward with info about how this man had also hurt them. I bonded with these women and got to talk with each of them and learn their story. As I watched each of them get on the stand, my heart broke because I knew how they felt. I knew how scared they were and I will never forget that feeling. Blessed to have a jury that wanted justice to be served too (evident through his 192 years he will serve with no parole). GOD IS GOOD AND HE LOVES JUSTICE. (as do I).
In closing I am going to share my victim statement. It took me a long to time to finally start writing it. I stared at my paper for almost an hour before the words ever came out. It focuses on how it changed my life. It has a dark side to it. It is a glimpse into the aftermath of the attck. It shows the scars....and how deep they run. I am pleased to be able to close that chapter of my life....I know it will never go away...but now my full healing can truley begin.
My Victim Statement:
I am at a loss for words because to be honest, words do not seem good enough.
My story would begin just like anyone else’s. My life was simple and things were great. I had a routine and it worked for me. I was able to enjoy the small things—things that in normal life we take for granted:
1. Walking our dogs
2. Going to the store
3. Answering the front door when someone knocks
4. Sleeping with the lights off.
All things that I never thought twice about; that is until my attack on May 16th. My simple and safe world had been shattered and I was left to pick up the pieces; only to find that the pieces don’t fit back together the way they used to. The occurrences of that day are forever with me; the horror that I lived does not fade. He sought me out and forced his way into my home. He robbed my mind of its innocence and he stole my freedom from me. He beat me unmercifully over and over again; to a point where I was convinced I would not survive the brutality of his blows. He tried to take me from my home to an unknown place where I am forced to wonder what would have happened to me if he had been successful.
All the things that we often take for granted are now, for me, obstacles that I face daily. I have not walked my dog in almost a year. I cannot go to the store alone…even for something as simple as a gallon of milk. I cannot pass a man on the street without thinking he too is going to attack me. I was forced to move out of my beloved home….because the memories of that horror live on and I could not bear to stay. I cannot be home alone and I never answer the door for anyone. I am 25 years old and I sleep with the lights on, because if I don’t, I see his face.
This man took my life as I once knew it and he destroyed it. I am haunted by his voice, the terror that I felt, and of course the feeling of helplessness as he used his dominance to overpower me both mentally and physically.
Unfortunately, I was not the only one affected by his actions. My fiancé and my family’s lives are forever changed by the events on May 16th. The precious girls who lived in that house with me have had their sense of safety shattered and it has been an uphill battle for them to regain the confidence to live in a home that someone else tried to take over.
There are so many days that I ask “Why did this happen?” However, I can tell you that I do not ever ask “why me?” I do not wish this on someone else. I would never want another person to suffer as I have suffered or to feel helplessness as I have felt. No one should have to be paralyzed in fear and have their personal safety on the fore front of their mind, day in and day out.
The desire of my heart is for this man to serve time for what he has done. Time that to him will never end….in a place where freedom seems out of reach. See, I too live in a prison…a prison of fear that engulfs my every thought. A fear that I had never know until he placed it in my mind. I feel an obligation to protect others from a man who lives to destroy the lives of others. If I can protect someone else from enduring what I went through…..then I know that something positive can come from this. If I could spare one life from knowing what I know….that would be something to be grateful for.
I ask one thing and I ask this with everything in me:
Please put Jim Huff away in prison for so long that he will never be able to do this again …..and in doing so we will be protecting another innocent victim.
Thank you for your time.
