JUSTICE

The week of April 25th was unlike any other for me, my family and Logan. It was our long awaited jury trial for the events that occured last May. We had been waiting for this week for almost a year....and it was full of mixed emotions. On one hand ...I was thrilled to FINALLY be able to have some closure...on the other...I was dreading it. I have to say...I have some amazing friends...who apparently know the way to God's heart...because I felt every prayer...God was with me in that courtroom...and ask anyone who attended..and they will tell you the same. Blessed is the word to sum me up last week. Blessed by God sparing my life, Blessed by friends and family who have poured their love over me (through notes, cards, meals, flowers, "pamer yourself gifts", phone calls, e-mails, etc.) Blessed to have so many come to support at the court house. I don't think that judge had ever seen such a lively bunch. He had to pull out the gavel a few times to get us to quiet down during each recess. He was very kind to us though and every time he used it to have us be quiet...he usually smiled real big and laughed to himself! Blessed to have two detectives that acted as my body guards those two days. They kept media cameras away, escorted me to my car, sat through a very long two days (even when they didn't have to be there), and of course walked me in the courtroom and held my hand while I got sworn in. Let me tell you..I cannot say enough good things about the Little Rock Police Dept..and their detectives! Blessed to have the two most amazing prosecutors on this earth ..the two of them are like a Doberman and a Pittbull who are after a cat...trust me, you want to be on their good side. Blessed to have the sweetest victim/witness coordinator named Susie. The first time I talked to Susie, someone asked me.."What is she like?" I responded, "I feel like I just talked to me on the other end of the phone; she sounds just like me." Susie and I clicked from the beginning and she was our rock through this whole process. Blessed to be looking out from the stand..and see my old roommates, cousins, Aunt, Logan, my family, and countless friends who took off 2 days of work just to love on us and be supportive. Prosecutors that were not even on this case came to watch and support. Blessed to meet 3 women who came forward with info about how this man had also hurt them. I bonded with these women and got to talk with each of them and learn their story. As I watched each of them get on the stand, my heart broke because I knew how they felt. I knew how scared they were and I will never forget that feeling. Blessed to have a jury that wanted justice to be served too (evident through his 192 years he will serve with no parole). GOD IS GOOD AND HE LOVES JUSTICE. (as do I).

In closing I am going to share my victim statement. It took me a long to time to finally start writing it. I stared at my paper for almost an hour before the words ever came out. It focuses on how it changed my life. It has a dark side to it. It is a glimpse into the aftermath of the attck. It shows the scars....and how deep they run. I am pleased to be able to close that chapter of my life....I know it will never go away...but now my full healing can truley begin.

My Victim Statement:

I am at a loss for words because to be honest, words do not seem good enough.
My story would begin just like anyone else’s. My life was simple and things were great. I had a routine and it worked for me. I was able to enjoy the small things—things that in normal life we take for granted:
1. Walking our dogs
2. Going to the store
3. Answering the front door when someone knocks
4. Sleeping with the lights off.
All things that I never thought twice about; that is until my attack on May 16th. My simple and safe world had been shattered and I was left to pick up the pieces; only to find that the pieces don’t fit back together the way they used to. The occurrences of that day are forever with me; the horror that I lived does not fade. He sought me out and forced his way into my home. He robbed my mind of its innocence and he stole my freedom from me. He beat me unmercifully over and over again; to a point where I was convinced I would not survive the brutality of his blows. He tried to take me from my home to an unknown place where I am forced to wonder what would have happened to me if he had been successful.
All the things that we often take for granted are now, for me, obstacles that I face daily. I have not walked my dog in almost a year. I cannot go to the store alone…even for something as simple as a gallon of milk. I cannot pass a man on the street without thinking he too is going to attack me. I was forced to move out of my beloved home….because the memories of that horror live on and I could not bear to stay. I cannot be home alone and I never answer the door for anyone. I am 25 years old and I sleep with the lights on, because if I don’t, I see his face.
This man took my life as I once knew it and he destroyed it. I am haunted by his voice, the terror that I felt, and of course the feeling of helplessness as he used his dominance to overpower me both mentally and physically.
Unfortunately, I was not the only one affected by his actions. My fiancé and my family’s lives are forever changed by the events on May 16th. The precious girls who lived in that house with me have had their sense of safety shattered and it has been an uphill battle for them to regain the confidence to live in a home that someone else tried to take over.
There are so many days that I ask “Why did this happen?” However, I can tell you that I do not ever ask “why me?” I do not wish this on someone else. I would never want another person to suffer as I have suffered or to feel helplessness as I have felt. No one should have to be paralyzed in fear and have their personal safety on the fore front of their mind, day in and day out.
The desire of my heart is for this man to serve time for what he has done. Time that to him will never end….in a place where freedom seems out of reach. See, I too live in a prison…a prison of fear that engulfs my every thought. A fear that I had never know until he placed it in my mind. I feel an obligation to protect others from a man who lives to destroy the lives of others. If I can protect someone else from enduring what I went through…..then I know that something positive can come from this. If I could spare one life from knowing what I know….that would be something to be grateful for.
I ask one thing and I ask this with everything in me:
Please put Jim Huff away in prison for so long that he will never be able to do this again …..and in doing so we will be protecting another innocent victim.

Thank you for your time.

31 Days to Clean

I have just started a new book! It is called "31 Days to Clean" (Having a Martha House the Mary Way) By Autor Sarah Mae. I LOVE IT! I haven't played by the rules and read one a day....I read about 10 a day....but I've taken heavy notes and am ready to conquer Logan's house after we get married! This will be so good for me....and it goes far deeper then cleaning our homes....it digs down deep into our souls! I know it is just for 31 days.....but when it's over...I'm just going to start from the beginning again ..and repeat and repeat....that way I will always be encouraged when mastering my domain. Every little bit of encouragement I can get...I'm ganna take it and run with it! This was my favorite of the week! I downloaded it for $4.99 off-line. I recommend this book for any woman of any age..in any walk of life. WE all are the same in our core..we want a beautiful, tidy home and we want to feel like we've got it all together, all the while growing our identity in the Creator of our soul. This book gives us the tools to do just that!
Several lines that spoke to my heart in the book:

“It’s not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted.” Mary O’Connor

“Who is woman? She is the redeemed Life-giver, enlivened by the love of Christ and continuously renewed by Him as she nurtures others.” Barbara Mouser

“Hospitality is the message you give a person about their value.” Phyllis Stanley

"How soon 'not now' becomes 'never'." -Martin Luther

"A wise woman builds up her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands." -Proverbs 14:1

"Decorate your home to be a place of beauty. Beauty raises life above mere existence"- Sarah Mae

Now yall go download your copy...trust me it's more than worth it! I hope it blesses your heart the way it did mine!

Happy Friday!

Sausage Ball Sauce Recipe

So I hosted a baby shower last Saturday......(more to come on that later). One of the sweet girls that hosted with me brought this sausage ball sauce to go with the spicy sausage balls that I had made. It was something that her grandmother always made for them and of course the night before I sampled it! OMGoodness.....It was so yummy! And here's the best part...it has TWO ingredients.....that's it! All you do it mix real mayonnaise and some dijon mustard together......just equal parts! May sound weird but it was seriously good. I will never be able to eat a sausage ball without it now ...(as if they aren't fattening enough..lets throw a little mayonnaise on top). I think I'm starting to sound like Paula Deen with this post!
(I promise you will never see me eat some sausage between two donuts....eww gross! She's such a nut! ha!)

Just had to share this very easy recipe....it's worth every calorie!

HALEIGH AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY

I'm sure you all remember the book "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day." It was one of my favorites growing up...I actually read it so much that I can quote it from memory (Still). So my version goes something like this:

"I went to sleep with my make-up on, so now there is a blemish on my face. And when I got out of bed this morning I tripped over Bentley, and by mistake, I dropped my contact in the sink while the water was running....I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."

Honestly, I did have a terrible day yesterday and start to my day this morning. As many of you know I am going to Jury Trial the end of April. We had offered a Plea Baragain, and the goal was to skip the emotional part that trial will bring up...but the offer was not accepted and so trial here we come. I won't lie, and say this is easy...because it is not. My terrible, horrible, no good very, bad day has been transfomred though...by all the precious people in my life that I am honored to call my fiance, family and friends. I have had the sweetest text messages, phone conversations, e-mails and voicemails..they have brightened my day and made me smile. I am overwhelmed with the amount of love shown to me and my family. One of my sissy's (Ashley) texted me last night...and said "Do you know how many people love you girl?" As I texted her back....I was crying because ...I can HONESTLY SAY THAT I DO. Ask me before last May...and I would tell you...that I know I'm loved, no doubt. But my soul mates and the wonderful people that make up my life...have just covered me with the blessing of their support and love! (Even people who barely know me...have stopped me somewhere...and said "Are you Haleigh? I heard what happened to you and I want you to know that I am praying for you and your family...you are such a strong woman." (TEAR)....I'm telling you..those words make my heart soar....No one will ever know how just the littlest comment will brighten my day. I have saved every card and note sent to me after the attack. They are in a scrapbook...and when I look at some of the names...I don't know them....and yet, these kind people have written me long letters of why they are proud of me and how they continually pray for justice. Isn't that enough to turn even the hardest day into the best?

My mom sent me this, this morning:

God goes before us in all our circumstances…

Show me your ways, O Lord,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God and Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.
Psalm 25:4-5, 21

Even on those deepest, darkest days (when all I want to do is pull the covers over my head.... I know that my hope is in God, the one who protects me in all I do. The one who cries every tear with me, who knows my every thought, fear and desire. I could run away from what lies ahead of me...or I could face it. With God in my heart and all my support team by my side....I know that I can do this! It's funny...no matter where you go, no matter what you do...we will have to face things that we are afraid of.

I don't pretend that this wasn't a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day...BECAUSE IT JUST STRAIGHT UP WAS. I could say "I think I'll move to Austraila" (like Alexander)...but instead I'm going to stay right here...and face what I sought out to do and seek the justice that I know will be served; because the truth is "someday's are like that, even in Australia".

(If this post didn't make sense....GO READ THE BOOK...it's one of my fav's)

The Same Thing Happens Everyday

The same thing happens everyday. Each morning, Logan calls to wake me up and I usually say "Thank you honey,I'm awake." I then hang up and procede to go back to sleep :). Then on his way to work he calls again...and I immediatly shoot up and answer in the most peppy (non-asleep voice possible)...I'm trying to make him think I have been wide awake since his first call! (I don't know if he falls for it or not...my guess is he knows the truth..but doesn't let on...so really he's probably beating me at my own game.) Anyways, I dart out of bed and take a shower and start to get ready. Sometime between my hair and make up..I usually GET BACK IN BED! I have no clue what my problem is. I have done this routine since college. I am an adult now..and adults are not supposed to behave like this. I hate waking up...moring is like torture for me. I've been reading several blogs of my friends who are moms and I think....How do they do it??? They get 2 hours of sleep and the kids come in and jump on them at 6 am ready for breakfast and to play! Right now...it's just me, myself and I ...(and of course Bentley). I don't know how they do it! I have so much respect for these sleep deprived moms. All I can say (when that day come for me) is ....GOOD LUCK HALEIGH. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has a snoozing problem.....but some days I feel like I've got an illness or something....like my brain produces to much of something and it literally makes it physically impossible to rise and shine! I really hope that I'm not the only adult who does this !

Happy Snoozing!

Thank you Lord

Today I was driving to work and I was praying. I had my friend Becca on my heart....and her sweet nephew that needs our prayers. I was asking the Lord for protection of the baby and for the hearts of the parents....and I began to think about how all things are in God's hands ..even the the unimaginable...the events that seem so unfair. My prayer then turned to my own unimaginable...and my normal daily prayer for strength, peace, the feeling of securiy and for the Lord to remove my spirt of fear (which so often engulfs me)....became a prayer of thanksgiving. I began saying thank you to God for all He was and all He did during last May and in the months to come. I prayed "Thank you Lord for protecting my life and protecting me from worse injuries than those I endured. Thank you Lord for the amazing detectives who showed up and took on my case...for their relentless search and not giving up. Thank you Lord for my prosecutor and her amazing assistant; such a blessing to be working with amazing women. Thank you Lord for a man who loves me and helps me through my daily struggle of being scared. Thank you Lord for a family who loves and supports me. Thank you Lord for friends who have never stopped praying and surrounded me with love and gifts of flowers, letters, meals and their presence in my home for weeks after the attack. Thank you Lord for the fact that this horrible man is and has been in jail for almost a year and his bail has remained at $2 million and not dropped or lowered. Thank you Lord for the bravery of one woman...who came forward and gave us info that we needed to find this monster. Thank you Lord for the man who came to my rescue and called the police as my attacker drug me through the yard to his car. Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to find a way to see the positive in this situation..when I am so often weighed down by the negative. Thank you Lord for the doctor who cured my dizziness (vertigo) due to my head injuries and all the doctors and nurses that night in the ER. Thank you Lord for doctor friends who met us that night at the ER and greeted us at the car with a wheel chair and got us right in (knowing that I couldn't walk). Thank you Lord for the friends who met in the waiting room in the ER and prayed with my family all night. Thank you Lord for the kind nurse that held my hand as she collected DNA from my body that night. Thank you Lord for letting me meet a woman who too was brutally attacked...I was reading her book and and angel (friend) gave me her phone number...what an amazing feeling to be able to talk on the phone, on a regualr basis to the auther of the book you are reading. I am pleased to call Rosemary Tribble my friend...and I am thankful for her honesty in sharing her story with countless women.
A lot of thank you's right? As I said each "Thank you Lord".....my heart had this great feeling of joy come over it. I have thanked God throughout these months for each blessing, but I have never thanked him for all of them at once. I was overwhelmed by His sovereignty. He has never left me nor forsaken me..He has been there through it all.....and He always is for us. I was so happy after saying all my thank you's ...and I felt so blessed. It was very uplifting. The day I go into court for Jury Trial...I am going to get on my knees and say thank you for everything all over again....I believe in my heart that it will bring me so much peace to say those words again.
MY GOD HE WAS, MY GOD HE IS, AND MY GOD HE WILL FOREVER BE.
When I got to work...my daily devotional was quite appropriate....funny how God's timing is impecable.

"Sometimes, people get distracted by what they consider to be a disadvantage or weakness in their lives. It may be something about their personality or looks that they don’t like. Or maybe they’ve been through an unfair situation: a divorce, a bad business deal or a bad break. We all have things that can feel like disadvantages; things that make it harder on us. It may even be a physical handicap, and you can’t get around like you used to. But just because you have a “disadvantage,” just because you’ve been through a tough time doesn’t mean you’re supposed to sit back and settle where you are. God still has something great for you to do! He wants to show Himself strong in and through you, and He’s given you His Holy Spirit to equip you in this life.
Today let the Holy Spirit help you when you feel weak. Let Him empower you with truth that will set you free. Stay in faith and don’t get negative toward yourself or your future. Let God take what you think is a liability and turn it into an asset! Let Him take what you think is a disadvantage and turn it around to be an advantage! Remember, you are more than a conqueror today and every day because He is strong in you!" (Joel and Victoria Osteen)

Home Sweet Home

What is it about French Decor that makes me so happy? If I were to describe my home decor style.....I would say that it is French Country with elegant twists. There is nothing simple about my style...I wish there was! I'd love to put a vase on a table with a lamp and be done (the modern approach) ...but it's just not me! I like simplicity in the day to day things and organization of the clutter...but I like my home to be full of life...and very eclectic. I want it to tell a story...not only my style...but of my life. Whether it's by the pictures that are in the frames of our special memories, or the vintage vase or teacup (that was my grandmothers) or even the painting that my mom painted for me when I was graduationg from the 6th grade at church. All the things that we have spent time collecting through the years....are usually those that we want on display. They tell a story....where we've been, what we've experienced and what we want to always remember. French decor gives me that feeling....it feels vintage and chic all the while giving you that "Welcome Home" statement. I love it! It will take me years to get my future home exactly as I want it....but I love that. I love that it's a process...and the decor that makes it up was not selceted by one quick run through at I-O Metro.....It was a lifetime of memories, that rare find at an antique store, that hand me down piece of furniture that I painted 3 different times...and of course those heart throbs that I usually find at Cobblestone and Vine or Vivid in Little Rock! I enjoy the process.....and the hunt! It makes your home have a story! I enjoy walking into someone else's home and seeing their story...I can appreciate every style of decor for what it means to that person. I've included several "french " inspired photos that sum me up in my style....I even like to eat french....it makes me happy! (I know the french fri is not technically french....but a large McDonalds french fri on occasion (dipped in Hot Mustard)....now that will make me smile too!