No more News

I have figured out slowly but surely that I do not like to listen to or watch the local news anymore. It seems like every time I turn it on I hear the one thing I don't want to hear....about all the people who do the things that make scared. I enjoy being up to speed about what is going on in our country and I believe as a citizen...we owe it to ourselves to be educated on the issues of our world. I have decided for Haleigh Millwee though...the local things that go on around me...are no longer for my ears. Don't get me wrong...I love hearing about the good others are doing and a sweet story....but I think if I hear about one more wrongful death or one more missing woman or child...It may send me over the top. I know that my personal incident has effected my life and changed me forever....but it's just here lately that the news really gets under my skin. It's gotten to the point that I have to leave the room if it is on. Maybe it's my way of protecting myself and my thoughts. So often during the day ..my thoughts are about my safety, my fears, memories of the way my life was before. Here's a peak into my random mind: I've just gotten back to wear I'm working out hard..doing two a days and really watching what I put in my mouth....and it hit me...I'm exactly where I was fitness wise..last May...right before my attack. See I had been doing two a day work outs the month leading up to my attack....and I was in the best shape I'd ever been in....I often joke that I was preparing for swimsuit season..but the Lord was preparing me to fight for my life. All that to say...it's just weird...weird to be back where I was....I feel exactly like I did before everything......and that scares me. I don't want to ever live that again...and I guess I am getting closer to the one year mark...and I've been thinking about everything more than normal. It could have something to do with the fact that trial is soon..very soon. I am preparing myself for those big days in April....and leaning on the Lord more than ever. I know that I do not usually blog about what happened on May 16th...but for the next month or so ....it may be the topic of conversation. I find that it helps me to blog about my feelings....it keeps me from hiding from them and brings everything to the surface. I am blessed beyond words to have such a great support system. I am surrounded by people who love me and are praying unceasingly until this man is brought to justice...I am thankful! Thankful for a sovereign God, wonderful family and friends and one great Prosecutor....I couldn't ask for more! For now...I am praying all throughout my day, memorizing scripture and not watching the news :)
Goodnight!